areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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