I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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