do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
