3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
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