She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
