It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize