i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize