I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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