She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
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If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
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Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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