You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
