another moral hangover. fuck.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
