The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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