I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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