I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
