I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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