if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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