So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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