so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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