I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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