How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
