so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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