Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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