3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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