I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How external is "for external use only"?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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