You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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