shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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