If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
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He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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