It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
