we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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