my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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