My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
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I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
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It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
There's even glitter on my cock...
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