Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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