I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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