My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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