dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
