Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
