there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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