if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is it because I queefed?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
