Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wanna bring you to show and tell
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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