Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
