so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She's the barista slut.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
