I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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