Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
