I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
