he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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