how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
