so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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