im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
