End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize