Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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