what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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