I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
