Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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