you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
