If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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