At least make sure they are 18
Why
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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