a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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