Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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