I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
